Shabbat guest

Discussing what is the right thing to say, and the right way to act, in situations arising in a Torah environment.
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Re: Shabbat guest

Postby rivka » Mon May 24, 2010 7:46 pm

Most hosts will not expect anything. If you do wish to bring something, please remember that it can be a problem to bring it on Shabbos itself, so dropping it off Friday is better. Kosher wine is nice; flowers are great, and avoid the whole kosher issue.
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Re: Shabbat guest

Postby Enora » Mon May 24, 2010 10:09 pm

We never expect anyone to bring food (cakes etc) on shabbat. Like Rivka mentioned there's the whole carrying problem.
What's best , in my opinion and it participates in giving the house a festive appearance for shabbat, is getting flowers delivered on Friday before shabbat or even go with flowers if you're going a good half hour ahead of the time your hosts start shabbat at.
Flowers are muktzeh (we can't touch or move them on shabbat) so if you go with flowers during shabbat we're kind of stuck with a bouquet we can't even put in a vase.
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Re: Shabbat guest

Postby rivka » Mon May 24, 2010 11:01 pm

Good point. Flowers ON Shabbos are a problem.
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Re: Shabbat guest

Postby Yisroelp » Tue May 25, 2010 5:45 am

Enora wrote:Flowers are muktzeh (we can't touch or move them on shabbat)


They are? I didn't think they were. Certainly in my Yeshivah the flowers in water were moved on and off the Shabbat table as necessary.

so if you go with flowers during shabbat we're kind of stuck with a bouquet we can't even put in a vase.


Granted you can't put them in water, but you can still stick them in a vase.
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Re: Shabbat guest

Postby rivka » Tue May 25, 2010 7:16 am

Pretty sure you're both right; they're muktzeh, but of one of the varieties that can be moved if the space is needed.
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Re: Shabbat guest

Postby Kira » Tue May 25, 2010 9:52 am

It's better to bring nothing than to bring a dish that the hostess did not expect. Even discounting Kashrut questions.

We have an "eiruv" so there's no problem of carrying locally, so often good friends that I invite offer to bring something. In that case, we coordinate what it is they'll bring (a salad, a dessert). I always offer to bring something, but sometimes my hostess says "take the week off", and I don't insist.

It's important to mention allergies and Kashrut issues in advance. Personally, I make a point to ask our guests, and sometimes they tell me that they eat only a certain kind of certification, in which case I make sure to get it that week. We eat at our friends' houses without question. Or that certain people are vegetarian (and they always say, "don't worry, I'm happy just to eat Challa and salad" - but if someone were not to tell me and only eat Challa and salad because everything else was meat-based, I would feel very unhappy as a hostess.

-Kira
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Re: Shabbat guest

Postby Enora » Tue May 25, 2010 10:52 am

We have an "eiruv" so there's no problem of carrying locally

stop bragging you! ;)
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Re: Shabbat guest

Postby Enora » Tue May 25, 2010 11:48 am

Yisroelp wrote:
Enora wrote:Flowers are muktzeh (we can't touch or move them on shabbat)


They are? I didn't think they were. Certainly in my Yeshivah the flowers in water were moved on and off the Shabbat table as necessary.

so if you go with flowers during shabbat we're kind of stuck with a bouquet we can't even put in a vase.


Granted you can't put them in water, but you can still stick them in a vase.


Flowers that are offered during shabbat are muktzeh of the "can't move" kind.
Flowers that were prepared before shabbat, I believe (I will double check) are of the same category as a stone. Not something that has any utility on shabbat but you can move if you need the space (like Rivka said). Flowers placed for their pleasant smell is something else.... I don't think they're muktzeh at all but I'm not sure.
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Re: Shabbat guest

Postby rivka » Tue May 25, 2010 2:41 pm

Kira wrote:Or that certain people are vegetarian (and they always say, "don't worry, I'm happy just to eat Challa and salad" - but if someone were not to tell me and only eat Challa and salad because everything else was meat-based, I would feel very unhappy as a hostess.

I have had that happen. I really hated being blind-sided like that.
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Re: Shabbat guest

Postby martinbrody » Tue May 25, 2010 5:35 pm

rivka wrote:
Kira wrote:Or that certain people are vegetarian (and they always say, "don't worry, I'm happy just to eat Challa and salad" - but if someone were not to tell me and only eat Challa and salad because everything else was meat-based, I would feel very unhappy as a hostess.

I have had that happen. I really hated being blind-sided like that.



Gulp! Guilty as charged, until somebody lambasted me!
But I really was happy to just have salad and fruit.
Best,
Martin B
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